Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead by Emily Austin

 

Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead

by Emily Austin

Gilda has problems. She wants everyone to be happy, doesn't want to do anything to upset anyone, and so goes through life allowing mistakes to happen, which leads her into some weird and bad situations.

Depressed and obsessed with death, Gilda has been fired from her job, sits in her apartment surrounded by dirty dishes while ignoring texts from a woman who likes her and going unshowered. She is misunderstood by her family. Her parents spend a lot of time ignoring any sort of trouble she or her brother might be having. Her brother, Eli, is either a cross-dresser or wants to be more feminine, but is hiding it behind a bunch of alcohol. Gilda worries about him and her parents refuse to acknowledge he has a problem.

Gilda, looking for a therapist to help her get out of her own head, stumbles into a job at a Catholic church, lured there by a want ad. Instead of excusing the mistake, she accepts the secretary job offered to her by the priest, Jeff. While working there (hiding that she is an atheist lesbian) she learns that the secretary before her (Grace) died, and was murdered. Gilda becomes obsessed with this, and tries to sleuth out the killer. A couple of her suspects are Jeff, the priest, and a fellow coworker named Barney, an older man whose wife recently passed away and who now lives alone. Barney is also obsessed with the case. Gilda gets herself into several awkward situation while she tries to uncover the killer's identity, while also pretending to be Grace as she exchanges emails with a woman Grace was good friends with who has no idea of her elderly friend's death.

Throughout the story Gilda navigates relationships: with Eleanor, who likes her, and whom she also likes but has a hard time talking to and being open and honest with; with a guy named Giuseppe she is set up with by a woman at the church, and with whom she pretends to be straight because she doesn't want to be outed at the church (she really needs the job); and with her family.

This is a really excellent look into the mind of a depressed person who is crippled by fear and anxiety. Gilda goes to the emergency room often, sure she is dying. The staff there no her by name and think she is a hypochondriac. Gilda thinks about death, her own and the deaths of others, and about all of the ways she has no control over when and how it will happen. She ruminates on various kinds of death and which would be the best ways to go. Ultimately she becomes so unraveled that she begins to lash out and everyone becomes aware that Gilda has mental issues.

I really identified with Gilda. I totally got her. This was almost like reading about myself. I have to give this book 5 stars. The writing was smart, funny at times, heart-rending at others. It was an open and honest portrayal of suffering, of what it's like to be crippled by fear and anxiety. I devoured this book. I had to know what mess Gilda was going to get herself into and how she was going to get out of it. Her slow unraveling was well-written. Emily Austin is a great writer.