These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever

 

These Violent Delights

by Micah Nemerever

Paul Fleischer lives with his mother and two sisters in 1970s Pittsburgh. He navigates his Jewish family life in the aftermath of his father's suicide and the rage that got him expelled from school. His family worries over him and his lack of friends, his insecurities, and sensitive nature. As well as his inability to connect with his peers. Until Paul meets Julian, a graceful and electric boy at his new school; a boy who matches his intellect, but who challenges his ideas of his own self-worth.

Paul is a serious loner and Julian mesmerizes him. Paul is full of self-hatred, yet is an idealist and self-righteous, believing he is the only one who sees things and people as they really are. But Julian sees right through Paul, right down into the worst parts; the parts that want control and the parts that like the pain Julian asks him to inflict on Julian's body. I think this is what Julian wanted: for Paul to need him so much that he'd do whatever Julian asked to make up for what Paul ends up doing to Julian.

Julian withholds his profession of love for Paul, but Paul wants Julian his need for him. They are both manipulative. Julian may be self-assured, but he lacks the ability to show deep emotion, Paul is ungainly and serious, but passionate.

They are continually trying to hurt one another with both words and actions in attempt to prove themselves to one another. Julian wants Paul to trust him, and Paul wants to be worthy of Julian's attention. Paul also wants Julian to need him.

They trade ideas about how to get away with killing someone after they discuss getting "rid of" Julian's family in order to free him from their strict, overbearing grip. They do noty kill his family, but their original idea becomes a game. Paul, ironically, has a strong moral code and believes people are thoughtless and not malicious. He has the ability to kill someone, a deep rage that Julian eggs on by offering himself up for practice.

Eventually, Julian lashes out at Paul, knowing that he has to "manage" Paul's feelings, even when he wants to focus on his own. Paul is emotionally needy, not believing Julian really cares about him. There is a distrust in Julian by Paul.

Julian makes their "game" real by offering up a victim. This would show Paul that Julian trusts him, that he knows him. Paul rejects the target, but takes the idea seriously. This secret keeps them together as they look for the perfect victim, a random person whose death will mean something. They break into homes in an attempt to whittle down the possibilities, searching for signs of the perfect victim. They settle on Charlie Stepanek.

After the crime they fall apart. Their careful planning fails and their bond begins to break.

These Violent Delights is a very literary queer thriller that is well-crafted and smart, with prose that is both cruel and beautiful. There are passages that are just heart-stoppingly gorgeous. The characters are fully fleshed out, sexy and corrupt. The relationship between Paul and Julian is both tender and tense, and their dynamic kept me interested. This book is a 5-star read and an exceptional debut novel.